Drunken times
by davestridersjunk
Summary: Hermione tries to tend to a Drunken Draco. Drabbles of the HarryPotter characters when they're drunk.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"Ouch, bugger," Hermione hissed as she tripped over her pyjama bottoms whilst shoving them on her legs. She was just too excited for tonight! The head boy had went out, and so, she would be able to snuggle up on the sofa with some ice cream, and a good book. She pulled her face off of the bedcovers, where she had fell, and put her pyjamas on slowly, this time. Once she had them up at her hips she tied the strings and grabbed her book, then she went downstairs and into the fridge, where her ice cream was. She wore the cheesiest grin as she grabbed the ice cream and a spoon, and then sat in the cosiest armchair in the living area. She opened the book on her lap and set the ice cream beside her. Ah, there was no better way to spend a Friday evening, in her opinion.

* * *

"He, he, he," Someone giggled. Hermione opened her eyes and blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the light. Once she opened them she saw Malfoy, sprawled out on the sofa with a bottle of fire whiskey in his hand. The noise came from him again, and then she realised, that he was giggling, like a little girl.

"Draco? Are you.. Drunk?" She asked, getting out of her chair to go over to him. He opened his eyes and blinked.

"I'm not drunk, I'm innennybrated, stonered, smashhhhhhed, whatever tickles your pansy," He said. Hermione laughed into her hand.

"Oh,"

Draco almost knocked Hermione over as he stood up at a breakneck speed and stretched whilst hollering in a sing song voice,

"Three sheets to the wiiiiiind!"

"Oh sorry," He fell on the floor and looked up at her with innocent eyes.

"Wow, are you alright? You just like… shot up to the roof…" He said. Hermione blinked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She said, folding her arms.

"Oh, well, you're pretty fast, you could try out for the hoops," Draco said, then he turned and looked the other way.

"You mean like spaghetti hoops?" He said, as if having a conversation with himself.

"Okay, come on, we should get you to bed," Hermione said, trying to lift him up by the arm pits. He giggled and thrashed out of her reach.

"Oooooh, that ticked," He said. She scoffed and picked him up again, but he was a deadweight, so instead, she dragged him.

"Ah he, he, he, he, he, he," Draco giggled as his shirt rode up past his head and he could no longer see. Hermione laughed as she stared at the noise coming from the white sheet.

"Malfoy, get up," Draco scrambled to the floor.

"Oh no, Hermione only uses my last name when she's mad, need to run," He said, and stumbled in the opposite direction to hide behind a lamp.

"Malfoy, get out," She said. As Draco moved to come closer to her he knocked over the lamp and put his hands out to catch it, but he was too late, and he stared down at the broken lamp on the floor.

"Wow, I'm sorry," He said, he bent down to pet it and then was sent into fits of laughter. He looked at Hermione.

"It's a lamp," He chuckled.

"Malfoy!" Hermione said. Draco's head popped around to look at her like a master had just shouted on his dog.

"Come on," She said. He nodded.

After a while Hermione finally succeeded in getting Draco into his room, he was still hammered, but if she was honest, it was rather funny.

"Oh," Draco said, shaking his head. Hermione frowned as she pulled back his curtains.

"What?"

"I think I just had deva ju…"

"Don't you mean déjà vu?"

"Yeah," He grinned. "Hey have we slept together before?" He asked. She shook her head slowly.

"Well we should," He said, nodding. Hermione nodded along with him.

"Want to do it right now? I think if I try hard enough I can get it up," He said, looking down at himself.

"No, no!" Hermione shouted urgently. He giggled again.

"I was just kidding," He said. Hermione calmed down and searched in his wardrobe for nightclothes.

"I could get it up without trying, 'cause your hot," He said simply. Hermione nodded and muttered a 'whatever.'

"Do you love me?" He asked, sitting on the edge of his bed. He pulled his shoes off.

"Yes, I love you," She said, sighing. She didn't actually, but he would never remember this in the morning, would he?

"Tha's good, 'cause guess wha-a-t?" He sung. She blinked.

"What?"

"Hey, what's that?" He asked, pointing to Crookshanks, who was padding across the floor. Although, to Draco it looked like a floating orange ball. Hermione walked over and picked up the cat.

"It's my cat,"

"I didn't know you had a cat," He frowned.

"Yes you did,"

"Well I know you have a pussy but get your head outta the frickin' gutter who do you think I am? I won't sleep with you," He warned in a stern voice. Hermione snickered and put Crookshanks onto the bed.

"Oh I know,"

"Well I would, but not right now, cause your kinda drunk, and I don't wa-a- take advantage of you," He slurred. She nodded and tore of his denims.

"Whoa, you really want into my pants don't you?" He asked, staring at his grey boxers. Hermione shook her head and threw some green Pyjama pants at him. He tore them from his head and stared at them, his hair ruffled because of his actions.

"Hey, I haven't wore these since the fourth year," He said, twisting them around, "Well sorry to disappoint you, but… I don't wear anything during sleepy times so," He stood up and promptly pulled down everything he wore from the waist down, excluding his socks. Hermione turned around.

"AHHH! Malfoy cover it up!"

Draco stared innocently at Hermione, who had her hands tightly over her eyes.

"But why?" He asked like a little child who had just been told no.

"Because I don't want to see it! But your pants back on!"

He shrugged.

"Well, okay," He pulled them back up and Hermione opened her eyes again.

"I dunno why you don wanna see it, it's pretty," He said. Hermione scrunched up her face in disgust.

"Don look at me like that baby, we both know you wan it," He said. Hermione frowned.

"Who is we?"

"Me and you, like nutter and jelly," He mumbled as Hermione pulled his shirt over his head. He still had his eyes closed and his head was titled slightly when she had turned around from closing his wardrobe.

"Malfoy?"

His head snapped up and his eyes popped open. He smacked his lips.

"Yeap?" He asked, swaying.

"Are you ready for bed now?"

He nodded, beaming.

"What're you looking so happy about?" She asked suspiciously.

"You have a nice bum," He said as he wrapped his arms around her small form and planted his hand son her bum.

"Malfoy! Get off!" She scalded. She pulled back his covers and shoved his legs inside them.

"No, I'm too warum," he said in a thick German accent. Hermione sniggered again.

"Don't you mean warm?"

"Yuppers,"

"Oh, okay, just put it over your legs anyways, I'll open the window,"

"Why would you wanna open the window?" He asked. She sighed.

"Because your too warm!"

"No I'm not, who told you that?" He asked. Hermione shook her head and turned off his lights.

"Goodnight Malfoy,"

"Sleepy dreams, baby,"

Hermione shook her head again, although he could not see it and opened the door to her own room, she got inside, turned off her light and got into her bed. She had just snuggled underneath her warm covers before she head faint singing.

"Oh, you touch my tra, la, la, la, la,"

Hermione couldn't help it, and burst out laughing. Then, her door swung open and her light turned on. Draco had gotten a black sheet from somewhere and had wrapped it around himself like a cape. He stood with his arms on his hips, looking awfully like a character from an all too well known comic.

"What're you doing?" Hermione asked after she'd calmed down. Draco looked down at himself.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm living my life long dream," He sounded awfully sober when he said this.

"Oh, okay, well, can I go back to sleep?" She asked hopefully. He grinned and threw something at her.

"No wear this, you can be my sidekick,"

* * *

Just something silly!


End file.
